Musings

For those of you wondering why I haven't updated this blog in almost 2 years, the answer is I wound up "closing it" such as it were. This will be the last post on this blog.

Why?

I have a stalker!

A relative of mine is a health professional. One of their patients decided to look up any any everything they could about my relative's family (including extended family) on the web. As I had given enough clues to my identity, the stalker brought my blog to the relatives attention. Said relative asked that I refrain from mentioning them in the blog.

I went one step further and stopped blogging, not out of courtesy to my relative, but, because I felt violated. My blog was my dialysis. I could spew out my bile here and leave refreshed. If I couldn't rant about my family if I needed to, then I began to feel the need to censor myself in all aspects of the blog which left me little choice but to close this blog (and no, I haven't opened a new one. I've just found new outlets for my angst such as beating the kids, kicking the cats and..... er scratch that. Seriously though, I have found new outlets that are not destructive.)

So, to that stalker. I hope you're happy.

So it's been a long time since I updated this. Not for lack of trying. I've actually got a few posts that I've half written and will push as soon as I get back to them. However, what I wanted to rage about was George Lucas and his decision to only release the original Star Wars trilogy on DVD in the "special edition" format.

I, for one, am really sick of George's ego getting in the way of his movies.

Once upon a time, the man ripped off a classic samurai film and thus created an Empire. Ever since then, he's been under the delusion that his vision is paramount and that no ones opinion but his own matters.

My understanding is he rejected Frank Darabont's Indy 4 script because it wasn't the movie he wanted to make. One problem, George; you're not making it, Spielberg is.

As for miticlorians, I'm honestly not sure where he got the beta version of Crack 2.0, but somehow he didn't read the Terms of Service which says it might be buggy.

In either case, while I admire the original Star Wars trilogy, and while I appreciate some of the additions he did to them when he released the special editions, I think he needs to understand that the same people that lined up for weeks to see the Phantom Menace are the ones clamoring to not see the movies he wanted to make bit was limited by technology. These are the people who want to recapture the feelings they had when they first waited hours in line for a movie that had been out more than 52 weeks (remember when they used to announce "now in it's xx week" in the newspaper ads for films?) not only because it helps them recapture their youth, but more importantly, it helps them recapture the sense of Wonder they had when first watching them.

The comparison was made to Casablanca and how would I feel if Rick goes back for the girl. The answer is that's a different movie than Casablanca. Greedo firing first, a CGI Jabba in the bay where the Falcon is docked, those change the movie as well. Does it make it a better movie? Maybe, but it's not the movie I waited two hours in the Alaska winter to see.

George argues that technology has changed and he wants to update the movies to the vision he had. Good for him. But enhancing the death start going foom is one thing, additions actually detract from the original feeling of the movie. For me, it would be like how would I feel if the updated "mother" in Alien to have a GUI interface and given her the voice of Meryl Streep. Well that's fine and good (not really) but you've just changed the movie.

I guess what it really comes down to is, George is trying to push the SE editions as if they were Coke Classic. We all known they are different, and we choke it down, but in our hearts we remember how the originals were and we know we're being duped.

Personal Responsibility Part 2!

So, now we come to the part of my blog where I start foaming at the mouth and probably angering a lot of people.

I took a few hours off of work today to help finish the prep for my oldest son's birthday party tomorrow. Part of my job was to pick up some food. Since I new the Red Baron frozen pizzas were on sale at Safeway, I headed there right after getting off of BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit.)

So when I got there I was greeted by 4 people waving picket signs telling me not to shop at Safeway because there is an ongoing union dispute in southern California with one of the chains Safeway corp owns.

Well, guess what? I'm anti-union!

If I thought I could get away with it, I'd have a bumper sticker on my car that says "(expletive) you and your union!"

But the first reaction of most union people would be to rrun me off the road, burn my car and probably shoot me.

To me unions are the epitomy of American's not taking responsibility for their own actions.

Now, do I think unions were always this way? No. But they outlived their usefullness 40-50 years ago and have since become a leading cause why things are so expensive in the US (next to lawyers, of course.)

The fact is, we have labor laws today that are being watered down by the political entity that unions have become. They not only demand a large chunk of cash from their members, but they then turn around and extort money from businesses forcing them to raise their prices.

The worst part of a union, as I see it, is they no longer protect the exploitation of workers, but rather promote the lazy incompetance that not taking responsibility for your actions brings.

Point in fact, a worker gets injured on the job, workers compensation is there to help pay the bills. A full time employee needs insurance, guess what? Most businesses these days provide it. An, in California, they passed a law to get anyone with over 20 employees to offer health insurance for their employees. And you know who's trying to get it tossed? Unions!

But back to my point of personal responsibility. Today, people hide behind the shield of being in a union when they do something stupid. A worker is messing around in a factory, spills chemicals which ruin inventory and hurt or kill their fellow workers. Not only would the union protect that person, they'd sue the employer on behalf of everyone for "unsafe working conditions" when, in fact, it was the careless incompetance of their own member that started it.

I suppose the next argument would be that unions protect workers jobs when management is trying to illegally cut the workforce.

Guess what folks, if the unions hadn't extorted so much from the company in the first place, then they might not have to lay off so many people. And who are they protecting? Workers with seniority in the union. Well that's nice. Job performance has nothing to do with seniority. Granted, if I were in the position where I was being laid off because I made more money than someone else whos performance was equal to mine I'd be cheesed off. But, I'd also understand, from a bottom line perspective, where the company needs to be.

But what really gets me mad is when someone "blames" a company for something that is either their own fault or, worse, hides behind the mythical union shield. When Ford found out the quality of the tires they bought from Firestone was responsible for killing people, they got sued. The finny thing is, where were the unions who helped manufacture those tires? When was the last time you heard a union step up to the plate and say "our workers were at fault here, we're sorry"?

The answer is never.

What a week.

It had been my intention to write something down for the sake of writing, but I think, in retrospect, that just writing when I see fit, or when I need to seems more achieveable at the moment.

So, the last 8 days have been a whirlwind of activity.

I hit a low point at work. You see, you reputation took a hit over the past few weeks, due in part to a few bugs in the system. Some people whom we disinvited to our world managed to get back in. To compound the matter, a few of them went postal, for lack of a better term, while there was a gap in CS coverage.

So we had a world full on angry users to start with and then a few misinterpreted forum posts managed to inflame them even further. So by Wednesday I was completely exhausted, cranky and not on the top of my game.

And then a funny thing happened, things changed.

I still don't know what it was, but I woke up on Thursday with a completely new attitude, a sense of peace and just felt a lot better. Which is probably a good thing since Monday will be a heavy day for CS, as we're completing the release of a new feature and it's bound to inflame passions once again.

So I haven't written a while thanks to work and just feeling totally exhausted.

And I'm still feeling that way.

But I'v got something I just need to rant about:

Personal Responsibility!

I know, thanks toi Melvin Belli (father of the modern day personal injury lawsuit) personal responsibility has become anti-American.

Maybe I'm just a throwback to a different time, but I've always tried to take responsibility for my actions, even when there was little chance of someone discovering, without my volunteering, that I was at fault for something. Beyond the fact that I don't think anyone should be the "fall guy" for someone elses mistakes, I just think it's both plain wrong and that you're denying yourself a chance to grow.

I firmly believe that you learn from your mistakes, even if you make them repeatedly (and I can be the king of that one.)

So, as I mentioned, I work as a CSR in an MMORPG (Massivly Mulitplayer Online Role Playing Game.) One of the responsibilites I share with another person is the role of online detective. We have a system for people to report rules violations and it's our job to investigate them to determine if the report is valid etc.

More often tan not the reports fall into only a few categories: 1. Total BS where someone is deliberately tryng to get someone else in trouble based on some personal conflict. 2. Some underage (or acting like one) user who has no impulse control and blasts away at people for the heck of it. 3. A true violation, usually involving the breaking of real world, as well as virtual world laws. 4. Malicious intent to disrupt someone else gameplay.

The 4th is usually combined with #2, but sometimes it's someone who has personal issues with another person and steps over the line. It doesn't happen too often, but when it does we stomp on it very quickly.

One such occasion happened earlier this week and the user was handed a suspension from the world for a few days to relfect on their actions, cool off, or to just be removed from the situation.

As it is with many of our users, this person has multiple accounts. It's something we acknowledge happens, and honestly don't care too much about. When someone gets suspended it's usually on a single account, unless they keep perpetuating the wrongs in a different identity.

Last night the suspended user showed up to one of our in-world helpers and first tried to weasal their way out of the suspention. This is the most common tactic. We send a notice of their suspension, they write back with "What? I didn't do anything," or the ever popular "They started it." In this case the person sent emails in response to their notice with the "I was griefed first," ploy.

They weren't.

This one, though, had the gall to, when we didn't respond within 2 hours to the emails they sent after hours, to harrass our in-world rep demanding to be reinstated, then finally threatening to sue.

Ok, first off, there's a Terms of Service everyone signs when they sign up for our world, and again to install the software and basically everytime they install an update. That Terms of Service basically says "I will follow the rules, if I don't you can suspend or even terminate my account."

What I find appaling is that this person very blatently broke our rules and, when they got caught, decided to try and bully their way back into the game by threatening a lawsuit.

First off, as far as I'm concerned, they are welcome to sue. They'd lose and wind up with a large legal bill. But, more importantly, it's this lack of taking personal responsibility that has my hackles raised. Just do your time, and then, if you're unhappy with our service, leave. Honestly, we don't need customers like that. I'd much rather they admit they screwed up, and move on with their life in world or out of it. We've had plenty of users who get suspended, learn from their mistakes and become productive members of our game. And maybe this one will too.

But I doubt it.

Well, here's attempt #2 on this particular post.

On Thursday morning I had the better part of my blog written out when I accidently erased it.

You'd think as a writier that I'd actually write this in word or a text file and cut and paste, but that smacks too much of actual "work." You see, I'm doing this for fun. So I'm not trying to edit what I write or even do many corrections of spelling and grammar issues (like I'd know a passive sentence if it bit me in the ass anyway!@)

(Of course, I just completely contradicted myself as I went back to my first post and changed some information because I decided I wanted to talk about some internal company goings on and felt that naming my employer in my blog weas innapropriate.)

Anyway my post was about blogs.

You see, a few months ago the company I work at did a restructure to cut monthly expenses. In the process a few people got cut from the ranks. Surprisingly, I wasn't one of them. I'd only been with the company a few months, and, while I take pride in the work I do, I have no illusions that I am irreplaceble, or that others may have deserved to stay when I went.

The thing is, the whole layoff came as a shock. Two people had been hired in the previous two weeks and our only advance notification was we'd have a hands on meeting at 10am. So at 9:30 or so, the person I took CS over from (he moved to part time CS and corporate communications) and I took our morning walk for him to get coffee.

A digression on coffee. I don't really drink it anymore. I started drinking coffeemilk when I was about 5 and it became a morning routine for more than 25 years with me. I even worked at Peet's Coffee and Tea (www.peets.com) for a year when I first got out of college. I recently stopped drinking coffee, except for the occasional cup and, in a funny coincidence, about 6 months after I stopped, I started to get a recurring ulcer (for those of you who don't see the humor in this, one thing that aggravates ulcers is caffiene and coffee was my only source of caffience in my diet.)

So I don't actually buy coffee, I just use the trip as an excuse to get out of the office and away from my desk. Or, maybe, more to the point, I use it as a way of forcing myself to leave my desk and actually take a break, because when he's not in the office I don't take the walk or that break.

But I digress.

During the walk, we discussed the possibilities of why the hands on meeting. The one thing we immediately dismissed was it was something bad.

Survery says..............................emmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmp!

As soon as we got in the meeting we knew it wasn't good. You see, our CEO is the type of person I love working with. Granted we're a small company, but when I interviewed with the company my hiring was delayed a week because the CEO wanted to meet with me, as he did with all new hires, before making a decision. And when I got to the interview, he came into the room, put his feet up on a chair and didn't take them down for the two hours we talked.

So when we walked into the room and he was there looking as if someone had died, we knew something not good was going on.

The funny thing is, the decision to cut people was made for the right reasons. My wife was laid off in October of 2002 by a company in deep financial trouble that had a history of massive layoffs in a desperate attempt to keep the comany afloat. This wasn't one of those reasons.

The company I work for is staffed by some of the most intelligent, forwardlooking and forthcoming people I've ever worked for. They knew that by doing layoffs then, they'd be able to keep the company moving forward at a pace which should be able to get what little funding we need down the road and not sacrifice the product or the company.

This doesn't make things any easier on them or the employees come that day, however.

In case I hadn't mentioned, while I've been through corporate mergers before and even a few rounds of layoffs, this is the first time I both didn' see it coming, as well as was in a position I felt was vulnerable. In every other case, I'd either knew my job was not one which would be effected or, in one case, had seen the writing on the wall and had taken a new position before they could kill off my position.

So after this meeting, which was a total shock, the CEO met with everyone, staying or not, to let them know what was happening to their job. In the meantime, they locked everyone out of the computers. Don't get me wrong, I understand the neccessity for doing it, it just really pissed me off.

Why?

Because there's one thig I pride myself on and that's my work ethics.

When I'm hired for a job, I do that job until the last minute of my last day there. If I give two weeks notice, the only difference in my performance is that often I spend it transferring my job duties to my replacement. But, what I don't do is mess around and take the "So what are they going to do, fire me?" attitude I've seen from others.

So, instead of working I got to kill time, waiting to talk to the head of the company with not a lot to do. I talked to my wife over AOL Instant Messanger to let her know what was happening and that I had no clue if I'd be employed in the next few hours and then watched some of the other folks, also in shock, play Starcraft. And while this was going on, the CEO would catch whomever's eye he could and bring them into a conference room to talk.

It because fairly obvious to me who was leaving and who was staying based on whether they came from the meeting with a packet of papers in their hands or not.

So finally my turn came and I got a shock when I was asked to stay.

Don't get me wrong, these layoffs were not a culling of deadwood from the organization. Everyone there did a heck of a job and, at least to my eye was putting forward an incredible effort to keep the company moving forward. And, though I'd been there less than 2 months, I immediately put forward my best effort, as I like to think I always do, but I just assumed since they were reducing staff they would go back to the staffing levels/arrangement before I was added in my department and leave it at that.

I was wrong. And happily so, I might add.

It's not even that it took me almost a year of searching to find a job I'd be happy with (not that I would have turned down a job at that point from anyone,) but more that I had found a job I was happy with and I didn't want to leave.

You see, I've been spoiled forever with regards to work.

I spent almost 5 years working in one of the most employee unfriendly environments you could imagine. And, from there, moved to a company that was the most employee friendly I'd ever worked at. And it wasn't the yearly ski trips, the impromptu day trip down to Disneyland or even the trips to Cancun and Hawaii I missed out on after I left the company (and this was all before the dot com boom!). It was that the company truely cared about its employees and realized that, by being flexible and open minded, and relatively careful about its hiring, they could build a team that worked well together, liked each other and wanted to come to work.

So why did I leave the company? Absolute greedy stupidity!

An employee I'd worked at with the company left to run a QA deprtament and offered me more money and higher stock options that I would have at the wundercompany whom I knew, by then, would never go public. Combine that with the fact that I'd accepted a promotion with wunderco that had me travelling, which I hate, and working with someone who's personal life and work ethics that i didn't respect.

So, instead of doing the smart thing and talking to my boss about my dissatisfaction, I let myself be seduced by the dreams of the IPO lottery once again and a higher paycheck and I left.

Two months later I was back at wunderco as a contractor, but they decided not to bring me back full time.

The funny thing is, the company I work for now is much like what I imagine wunderco was like in the beginning: A bunch of really intelligent people working together on a common goal and hoping thier efforts will bear fruit.

Do I wish the company I was at now took me to Disneyland for a day, or on ski trips? Of course I do! I'd be a fool not to say that. But I also understand that wunderco, may they rest in peace (they were swallowed by a larger company last year) was a special possibly once in a lifetime experience. Which, if we start to do exceptionally well with the company I'm at now, won't stop me from trying to, shall we say, urge the company in the wunderco direction :)

Anyway, the whole point of this blog, which I got distracted from, was to talk about blogs. Because one of the people who'd been hired right before the layoff had a blog before he started working with the company. And he wrote about the company in his blog and what happened on that day.

So, earlier this week, one of the people in the online world I work with found that blog and posted it to our forums. Needless to say the doomsayers read a lot into his blog, most of it completely inaccurate (the speculation, not his blog) and there was a day or so of panic before calmer heads prevailed and the next, in-world, soap opera overshadowed it.

So my Thursday blog, which was written in the middle of the uproar over that blog, was about how you want to be reasonably careful about what you write in these things as they may come back to bite you in the butt. And the funny thing is, one of my correct actions was to try and sanitze my blog a bit about the company I work for. Not because I'm afraid of losng my job, but because the company I work for derserves my respect.

Two work days in a row!

I came to the decision I'd only write when I had something to say. And once again I find myself thinking about something.

Mental illness.

My mother is a psychologist. I'm a manic depressive who's more or less in control. My parents, in their enlightened state sent me to a shrink when I was 5 because I was acting out in class. Medically speaking, I was bored. I'm one of those people whose been blessed with a reasonably high intellect and cursed with little to no motivation to do anything about it.

The meant, throughout most of my academic career I was smarter than my teachers, knew more and wasn't sufficiently challenged.

But that's not what I want to talk about.

As a CSR (that's a fancy term for Customer Service Representative) for a world where you literally can build your dream life from your physical appearance to the place you live, to the way you interact with the world, I get to work with a lot of people who are, in all likelyhood, roleplaying on a grand scheme. I'm not just talking about people who are overweight running around as skimiply dressed gods and goddesses, though I'd be willing to wager that happens a lot.

No, I'm talking about true escapsim.

When my mom took a look at what I was working with, her reaction was "oh shit!"

You see, we've given people the means to act out their fantasies and, maybe more importantly, live them.

For most people, I suspect this is not a big deal. Like many gamers, people often roleplay out what they cannot be to (unconsciously) help themselves to the betterment of self. I, for one, am pretty miserable at large parties. I tend to try and latch into a small group and keep that group going on a discussion so I don't have to deal with my own insecurities.

One of my coworkers is a master of the social gathering. Witty, intelligent and seems to be able to glide between groups, making their presense known and appreciated, while being reasonbly unobtrusive about it. A second co-worker, whom I suspect of being an introvert, has considerable experience with this based on a previous career, and, while I suspect they may not be entirely comfortable in the role, they certainly handled with with professional aplomb.

But I digress once more.

There are some people who need to escapism too much. They are the ones you read about who've attempted (sucessfully or not) to kill themselves after their long standing role playing game character gets killed. So, it shouldn't be a surprise that we've got a few of those types in our world.

What worries me, is, what is going to happen if we have to ask one of those personality types to leave because they've violated our terms of service or community standards one too many times.